This is by far my favorite time of year.  I love the change in weather, and the cool fall nights made perfect snuggled up to a campfire.  We have had a couple cool days, but the heat seems to be kicking in again.  Just in time for the kids to go back to school!  I feel for those kids sitting in their classrooms, only wanting to be outside enjoying the last few days of summer.  Because I am doing the same thing while I sit at work.  Looking outside just wanting to feel the heat of the sun on my face. But just like the kids I stay inside and get my work done.

Speaking of school, I did it!  I sent Layken off to 1^st Grade.  She is a very excited 6.5 yr old!  She was placed in the class of the teacher she wanted.  Mommy wanted her even more (she gives homework).  Yes I want homework….just not too much.   Layken loves to learn and needs a teacher that can fulfill her desire to learn! I can only hope and pray that Layken continues to love school as much as she does now when she is a senior in high school. So most moms would say they are sad to send their kids to school.  I wasn’t sad at all. I was probably just as excited as she was!  We did your typical 1^st day of school stuff: special breakfast, perfect outfit and of course the 1^st day of school picture.  All of this brought such warmth to my heart.  I am proud of Layken for the beautiful child she is and her eagerness to learn.  It wasn’t until we all had to start going our separate ways.  Mike taking Libby to daycare and myself taking Layken to Turner’s house before school.  Layken gave Mike hugs and kisses and then it was Libby’s turn to take the strong hug and kisses from Layken.  Layken gets in the car and says to me…”Mom…..Libby will hug me back some day right?” Why does this 6.5 yr old have to be so worried about the future?  My response, “I sure hope so Layken.” I held it together how I don’t know, because just typing it I get this horrible lump in the back of my throat and my eyes begin to burn.

I spend lots of days, well I guess you could say, I spend every day thinking about the future too. At first the fear of the unknown was crippling at times to me…But then I realized.  It’s not unknown.  God knows and has created the path.  I just need to remember to trust in him and the path in which I need to take will be so clear. There are a couple Bible verses that I have to read often just to help me coup with a day. Joshua 1:9 was the first verse that was near and dear to my heart. “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid: do not be discouraged for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Like anything else I have good days and bad days.  Some days it’s so easy to let go and trust in the Lord. The next day just feels like a huge weight was dropped right on my chest and I don’t have the strength. After Layken made that comment about Libby not hugging her….. Here came that huge weight crashing down on me.  I ache for the loss of the ideal sister she was hoping for. I ache for Miss Libby and the struggles she goes through.  I hurt even more for the pain she may feel but can use her words to tell me.  I would as most moms would…. I would take her place in the blink of an eye.  No child deserves to suffer.

I managed to make it through another day. Therapy was done for Miss Libby and we finally had some down time.  It was just Layken, Libby and I.  We were sitting on the couch talking about our day, when Layken gets on my knee and says give me a horsey ride mom.  I was holding Libby at the time.  When I started bouncing my girls, Libby let out a giggle!!  A full blown giggle!   For most parents of 15 month old kids this happens multiple times a day.  But for Miss Libby I can count on one hand the times I have heard her giggle. This wonderful bonding moment with my girls I will cherish for a life time.  Thank goodness I had my phone near and was able to capture it as well!! She did it for so long we were even able to call Mike and Grandma Donna (for her Birthday) and share in this joyous moment.  As you can see my days are emotional roller coasters and I hope no one gets caught in a seat next to me when we are going down… But please hop in when we are soaring high!  This moment was exactly what I needed to help heal and fill my heart from the morning conversation with Layken.  Please, please never take for granted your children young or old. With that said I leave you with this: Embrace the season of LIFE you are in whether it’s a season of rain or a season of sunshine. God is using it to shape you and prepare you for the future.